Monday, November 3, 2008

Lunch and Work

So it's lunch time at work and I'm reading Slashdot. And I read a story about the US Election and see the old speech posted that Howard Beale made once. So I thought, what if I WoW'ized it? Well...

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's an expansion. Everybody's out of a raid or scared of losing their raid position. The gold buys a silver's worth; guild banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a [Dwarven Handcannon] under the counter; l33t sp34k punks are running wild in the street, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it.

We know the potions are unfit to use more than once a fight and our food is unfit to buff. And we sit watching our ThreatMeters while some stats forcaster tells us that today we had fifteen low DPS moments and sixty-three over healing casts, as if that's the way it's supposed to be!

We all know things are bad -- worse than bad -- they're crazier than Yun’s prices on the AH!

It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out any more. We sit in Shattrath, and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our BGs. Let me have my [Arcanite Reaper] and my [Amani Bear Mount] and my [Armored PVP Drake], and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone."

Well, I'm not going to leave you alone.

I want you to get mad!

I don't want you to forum protest. I don't want you to riot as a naked gnome on some server. I don't want you to write to your forum moderator, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the expansion and the consumable inflation and the Scourge and the “Slap in the Face Nerfs!”

All I know is that first, you've got to get mad.

You've gotta say, "I'm a WoW Player, goddammit! My subscription has value!"

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs (If you play Horde you shouldn't have them in the first place, they're piled up on the Bulwark!). I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it (Not click on the damn thing!), and stick your head out and /yell,

"I'm as mad as hell; and I'm not going to take this anymore!!"

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